Author: me

Spread your wings

Ever since I founded The Oak Tree Factory, most of the decisions I’ve made have been about minimalism. I’ve really taken the motto start where you are, use what you have, do what you can to heart. It hasn’t always been easy, I can tell you that. Over the years I’ve given up on well-paying jobs, expensive holidays, living space, furniture, luxury goods – asking myself at every turn: how can I pursue my dreams instead of status, financial security, and really just more stuff? The answer has always been: keep it small, enjoy the little things. Aren’t the best things in life free, after all? But now, for the first time in years, I’m expanding. Taking a step out of my tiny, but comfortable hermit shell and moving into one that is one size bigger. One that has lots of space for all my creative work. You’d think that would be a blissful moment, after years of giving things up. Yeah, not so much. Growth, as I’ve learned, is a painful process. It asks us to take a risk, jump into the unknown, head first. “What if I fall? What if I fall? What if I fall?” The question repeats in my head, ad nauseam. “Yes, my darling,” a soft voice whispers in my ear, “but what if you fly?”

The time is now

I’ve been reading a lot of inspiring books lately. The Creative License by Danny Gregory and Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert among others. But a true revelation was Jacob Needleman’s Time and The Soul. The book is about how we waste the time that is given to us. It describes how we keep getting caught up in the drama of our life: we end up in the same kind of situations, with the same kind of people – just circling the same point. When we could be on our way, discovering the path that lies before us. Reading these passages, it hit me hard. I could suddenly see all the themes that dominate my life: wanting to be loved, obeying my teachers, getting stressful jobs, ignoring my own needs in the process. You know, the usual stuff. I spend all my energy on cleaning up the same mess, over and over again. Every time I say yes to something that doesn’t fit my wants or needs, I give away my precious time. So, what’s the answer? Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, said Henry Thoreau. In my experience it is not that easy. But I do believe it’s the only way. For else, we shall have wasted our lives.

Free spirit

The other day I adopted a cat from the local animal shelter. It was a stressful experience for both of us. For me, because it was a big step to commit to sharing my home with someone I’d only met twice (and under difficult circumstances). For her, obviously, because it involved being shipped off in a carrier bag to an unknown place by a stranger. But now, as she is lying here in my arms, it seems neither of us needed to have worried. The only question that remains is: why ever did I wait so long? As a child my world was filled with cats. So much so, that the first word I uttered wasn’t the traditional ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ – but ‘cat’. They were my tribe: I spoke their language, they protected me. I’ve always felt out of sync when there aren’t any cats around. Over the years I’ve tried to fill that gap with other things. But it can’t compare to the sense of belonging and being at ease that I feel so instantaneously now. I realise that for the past couple of years I’ve been afraid of committing to someone. Afraid of having to give up my freedom. But commitment isn’t the opposite of freedom: committing to the right one allows your spirit to take flight.

When destiny calls

Kung Fu Panda is one of my favourite films. There is so much wisdom in it, most of all about destiny. Watching it over and over again, destiny and kung fu became one and the same for me. So I joined a kung fu school and believed it to be my destiny. I devoted myself to it and even trained six times a week for a while, giving up other things in the process. It was only when things went pear-shaped (there are no accidents!) and I stumbled into a capoeira class that I realised that I’m in fact not a panda and that kung fu is not my destiny. With the clarity of hindsight, it’s obvious that it’s not the right art for a raccoon like me. Even though I loved kung fu, it always remained separate from my oak tree. Training didn’t make me a better artist. Capoeira, that’s a different story. Now I’m learning how to fight but also to play, dance, sing, make music and flow so freely that it inspires my creative work in ways I’ve never experienced before. It runs through the fibers of my being and connects everything in my life: photography, stories, drawings, dance, music, meditation and martial art. When passion and purpose align like that, it’s your calling.

Take flight

Autumn used to be my least favourite season. I would hide under a blanket, depressed, longing for the winter solstice and the longer days that it promises. But this year I have felt mesmerised by the changing colours of the trees, playing with the red and golden leaves with a happiness that I remember only from childhood. For the first time I am embracing the dark evenings that invite me to slow down, reflect on and let go of the exuberance of summer, to read my favourite books in the light of cinnamon scented candles and quietly do my meditation practices before bed. At first I didn’t notice this change in my spirit. But as this new energy takes me to the beach each morning to witness the rising of the sun and breathe in the crisp air, I was walking through the dunes at dawn when out of nowhere a murmuration rose up from behind the hills and flew right over me, almost knocking me down. With the beauty of the world in my face like that I couldn’t help but see that, to be free of the things that are holding you down is the most liberating feeling in the world. And to fill your life with things that lift you up, the greatest treasure.