The philosopher and the fox

7am. Breakfast. Yoga in the garden. I have plans to go to an exhibition of Wittgenstein’s photography in Cambridge today. But I can’t be bothered to go all that way to think about his photography and his philosophy. Plus it means losing valuable bonding time. Ok, maybe I’m starting to fall in love with the fox.

8am. I decided to try some new things yesterday. Quorn Mince, cucumber, and some yoghurt and banana. What do I know? Fruit seems a healthy option. As it turns out, the mince is gone. Quorn – Veggies hate it, foxes love it. Maybe I should try some Marmite next? The cucumber looks untouched. The yoghurt is gone, but the bits of banana are lying on the grass looking all slimy. Guess that’s a no.

9.30am. I’ve never seen her this early. I sprint outside and do my usual routine. I make it onto the grass. I was hoping that yesterday would have been the last of the low crawling. But here I go again. This time I’m more prepared and wearing a long sleeve. Maybe a bodysuit would be even better? The image of me in my cookie monster costume spread out on the grass springs to mind. I quikly realise that being blue from head to toe might blow my cover. And if someone saw me from their window, they’d probably have me admitted to a mental institution. I make it to the yasmine. I’m getting quite good at this! She looks up a couple of times, but doesn’t seem to care too much. I’m determined to get closer than yesterday.

11.15am. I’ve made it to the garden furniture set. I had to move very slowly, because she looks up every so often to check on my whereabouts. And she got up a couple of times. Every time that happens, I try to to convey that I’m here to take a nap. I’ve advanced roughly 2 meters since yesterday and we are now about 2 meters apart. She looks right at me, but then goes back to sleep. Then, suddenly, the kids next door start jumping on the trampoline and she gets up and takes off.

2.30pm. No sign of the fox. I worry about earning her trust. What if she’ll trust people in general? What if that leads to her getting injured or killed? I worry a lot. The ranger said that foxes are tough. I hope so.

11pm. I read today that foxes like peanuts and raisins. Peanuts I have. Amd I bought raisins earlier today. Add some leftover mince and we’re all set. I walk to the tent, put down the food and what do I see? A hedgehog with half her body in yesterday’s container. All this time I have been feeding a HEDGEHOG!?