Author: me

Gifts from the sea

On days I feel lost in this world, I always return to the beach. On my way there I noticed something resembling an umbrella leaning against the bus stop: a wooden stick, just standing there casually as though it’s a perfectly normal place for it to be, waiting for me. “A stick?” you say. Yes, I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I have come to appreciate the value of branches and secondly, it was a particularly nice one, mind you – weathered driftwood curved in the shape of a sword. I brought my treasure with me to the seaside. There I breathed in the fresh night air as the last of the sunset lingered fiercely red above the mystical, dark water. Skipping barefoot through the thundering waves, finding as always that when you can reach out and touch the horizon, everything falls into place, I came upon orange roses that someone had left there for me to find. I stopped picking flowers years ago, once I learned that loving something means letting it live, but to receive such an unexpected gift filled up the empty spaces in my heart.

Take me to a place

The longer I live in this urban settlement behind the sandy beaches of the North Sea, the more beautiful places I discover. One of my favourite squares is Sweelinckplein in the borough of Duinoord. Between the Neo-Renaissance houses lies a quaint urban park that is home to both the composer Jan Pieterszoons Sweelinck and a fairytale girl. It’s a little haven of quiet, where the fragrant lavender invites you to laugh and dance under the stars. But nothing quite prepares you for the overwhelming splendour of the spring blossom that, for only a moment, colours your entire world.

How sweet it is

What I love most about the beach is that not one day is the same. You think you know what your walk will bring, the breaking waves rushing in, the salted wind playing with your hair, the gulls flying high above you, but then you arrive and all your expectations are blown away, and you can no longer hear the questions and doubts that pierce your existence. Everything you thought you knew… about life, about love… disappears. And it is just you and the universe. And you feel that every day is a new beginning.

I always knew I was a hobbit

Or suspected it, at least. Ever since reading the first chapter of The Hobbit, in which Baggins is confronted with an unexpected party (making for the most awkward Wednesday he ever remembered), which is one of the funniest things I have ever read – mostly because it is exactly how I would react: head in hands, wondering what had happened and what was going to happen and wanting to hide behind the beer-barrels in the cellar and not come out again until they had all gone away… But it wasn’t until I went into the woods on a particularly gloomy day and wandered off by myself that I discovered that I have more in common with Baggins than I thought…

Kind of blue

It’s one of those cold misty afternoons, bare willow branches brushing softly against the grey cloudless sky. I am listening to One Sided Love Affair by Trespassers W serenading the city of Berlin: how she cries and how she laughs. It’s the kind of blue, undisturbed time that Cor Gout writes about in Korenblauw. As a sensitive soul, I love his beautifully composed, old-style stories, which take me beyond the crudeness of the world. Where a sympathetic weasel urges you to uncover the rites of your past as the hedgehog gingerly replies, while he puts up his quills, that some things are to be left unsaid (“Albino Spreeuw”). Where empty hours fill the space of your being with creativity, if you are patient enough to wait (“De Lege Tijd”). Where something can be both the case and not the case without leaving you unsettled (“Ja en Nee”). Where what you write isn’t just made up, where even fiction is about truth (“Schrijverschap”). Where little mice dance nose to nose on your raspberry-red Phoni recordplayer (Vian 1920-1959; illustrated by Hélène Penninga). I guess I’d better join them now!