The time is now

I’ve been reading a lot of inspiring books lately. The Creative License by Danny Gregory and Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert among others. But a true revelation was Jacob Needleman’s Time and The Soul. The book is about how we waste the time that is given to us. It describes how we keep getting caught up in the drama of our life: we end up in the same kind of situations, with the same kind of people – just circling the same point. When we could be on our way, discovering the path that lies before us. Reading these passages, it hit me hard. I could suddenly see all the themes that dominate my life: wanting to be loved, obeying my teachers, getting stressful jobs, ignoring my own needs in the process. You know, the usual stuff. I spend all my energy on cleaning up the same mess, over and over again. Every time I say yes to something that doesn’t fit my wants or needs, I give away my precious time. So, what’s the answer? Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, said Henry Thoreau. In my experience it is not that easy. But I do believe it’s the only way. For else, we shall have wasted our lives.

Free spirit

The other day I adopted a cat from the local animal shelter. It was a stressful experience for both of us. For me, because it was a big step to commit to sharing my home with someone I’d only met twice (and under difficult circumstances). For her, obviously, because it involved being shipped off in a carrier bag to an unknown place by a stranger. But now, as she is lying here in my arms, it seems neither of us needed to have worried. The only question that remains is: why ever did I wait so long? As a child my world was filled with cats. So much so, that the first word I uttered wasn’t the traditional ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ – but ‘cat’. They were my tribe: I spoke their language, they protected me. I’ve always felt out of sync when there aren’t any cats around. Over the years I’ve tried to fill that gap with other things. But it can’t compare to the sense of belonging and being at ease that I feel so instantaneously now. I realise that for the past couple of years I’ve been afraid of committing to someone. Afraid of having to give up my freedom. But commitment isn’t the opposite of freedom: committing to the right one allows your spirit to take flight.

When destiny calls

Kung Fu Panda is one of my favourite films. There is so much wisdom in it, most of all about destiny. Watching it over and over again, destiny and kung fu became one and the same for me. So I joined a kung fu school and believed it to be my destiny. I devoted myself to it and even trained six times a week for a while, giving up other things in the process. It was only when things went pear-shaped (there are no accidents!) and I stumbled into a capoeira class that I realised that I’m in fact not a panda and that kung fu is not my destiny. With the clarity of hindsight, it’s obvious that it’s not the right art for a raccoon like me. Even though I loved kung fu, it always remained separate from my oak tree. Training didn’t make me a better artist. Capoeira, that’s a different story. Now I’m learning how to fight but also to play, dance, sing, make music and flow so freely that it inspires my creative work in ways I’ve never experienced before. It runs through the fibers of my being and connects everything in my life: photography, stories, drawings, dance, music, meditation and martial art. When passion and purpose align like that, it’s your calling.

Take flight

Autumn used to be my least favourite season. I would hide under a blanket, depressed, longing for the winter solstice and the longer days that it promises. But this year I have felt mesmerised by the changing colours of the trees, playing with the red and golden leaves with a happiness that I remember only from childhood. For the first time I am embracing the dark evenings that invite me to slow down, reflect on and let go of the exuberance of summer, to read my favourite books in the light of cinnamon scented candles and quietly do my meditation practices before bed. At first I didn’t notice this change in my spirit. But as this new energy takes me to the beach each morning to witness the rising of the sun and breathe in the crisp air, I was walking through the dunes at dawn when out of nowhere a murmuration rose up from behind the hills and flew right over me, almost knocking me down. With the beauty of the world in my face like that I couldn’t help but see that, to be free of the things that are holding you down is the most liberating feeling in the world. And to fill your life with things that lift you up, the greatest treasure.

My home is the sea

The world is full of beautiful places, but for me nothing is more magical than the sea. Going to the beach helps me to find my balance whenever I’ve lost it. Walking along the shoreline, the endless horizon stretched out before me, always fills me with newfound trust, strength, and joy. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why the sea has such healing qualities – even more so than a forest, lake, or mountain top. Perhaps it is something about the coincidence of, not two, but three natural elements, Earth-Water-Sky, that creates a special kind of synergy that you cannot find anywhere else. But the power of the sea becomes even more clear, when you decide to shed your clothes and submerge yourself in the water. Now you are floating, slowly drifting, between the earth and the sky. You don’t have to do anything… just let the salt water wash away your sorrow, as you listen to the calming sound of the rolling waves rushing over the empty seashells. If you’re lucky an inquisitive seal will and come play with you. But you can’t have expectations, because every day is different. Like the water, you too must surrender to the sun and the moon.