Tag: equinox

Where roots grow

After ten weeks of renovating our new home, I finally unpacked the first boxes in my studio. I wanted it to be perfect, of course – fresh walls, warm light, everything in its place. But it isn’t. Some walls are still waiting for paint, the windows for curtains and the room for heating. My mum’s beautiful vintage bookcase is too tall and her wooden cabinet can’t make it up the stairs. And yet… there is so much to love already. An olive-green wall, bamboo beneath my feet and the hollyhock swaying in the wind beside our magnolia. The Monstera I once gave away, returned as a housewarming gift. My mum’s favourite knitted sweater folded over a chair. A simple trestle desk, pen and paper, my handmade books – all gathered in this sanctuary. A place where the world softens and I can listen to the whispers of my heart. Between my brushes, I found Vivian Greene’s words: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain”. And I smiled, remembering: you don’t need to wait for perfect. You can dance right here… among half-painted walls, scattered boxes and the tender beauty of what already is.

Magnolia dreams

As the magnolia is blossoming in all her pink beauty on our balcony, we’re dreaming of a place where she can put down roots. But where to find a new home where she could grow? Reading Frances Hodgson Burnett’s The Secret Garden, I suddenly have my answer. Just follow in Mary’s footsteps: go outside everyday and a friendly robin will show you the key. On one of my walks through the city, I stop by a large magnolia tree. It reminds me of the first time my mum and I saw a magnolia. “Isn’t this the most beautiful tree you’ve ever seen? How I would love to have a tree like this one day!” my mum had said. She never did have one in her hillside garden. So when it was time to bury her, I knew it would have to be in the serene place underneath the majestic magnolia, with the branches gently swaying in the wind above her. And so having one in our garden would be a beautiful way to honour her spirit. For now, I tell myself to be patient and trust that what you seek is also seeking you.

Late bloomers

Out on our balcony garden the dahlias brighten my mood as the rain clouds drift by. I love how they remind me that it’s never too late to bloom. Growing up I always looked with envy at the kids who were blossoming; while I felt gangly and perpetually behind. I couldn’t have imaged then that I would be well into my thirties before I’d figure things out. Even as I was writing a PhD thesis on the topic of authenticity, I never once asked what all of that meant for me. It took a rather harsh wake-up call, before I started to build my life around the oak tree. Looking back I feel so blessed by the fact that I found the courage to leave the well-trodden path that others expected of me and to create a life filled with meaning and love. Not having lived a life true to themselves is the biggest regret people have at the end of their lives, as Bronnie Ware shows so beautifully in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. So let these autumns flowers inspire you to be brave and live the way you want to.

Unicorn space

Most days there´s still a harsh wind, but then there are days like these, when the sunshine is warming my face and I forget about the winter past. With our little one all happy at pre-school now, I´m enjoying these quiet moments at the oak tree. As the blossoms of the sweet jasmine are swaying gently back and forth, I listen to the birds singing all around me. It makes me want to get into the swing of things here at the factory. To help me guard these pockets of time from the other demands in my life, I’m reading Find your Unicorn Space: Reclaim your Creative life in a Too-Busy World by Eve Rodsky. Unicorn space isn’t about getting a hobby or finding your passion, but about the active and open pursuit of creative self-expression in any form that makes you uniquely you. So many of my dreams have come true since I started this quest for authenticity, from writing my first short story to learning to draw. So don’t be afraid to dream big and then start with the smallest of steps. The time is now!

Cure for me

Rainshowers sprinkled with some autumn sunshine: a perfect time for homemade cookies. I scoot our little one on top of the counter. Roll out the dough on a floured surface, the recipe says. So I need to clean the counter top then. The thing is, I worry a lot about bacteria, but also about chemicals in cleaning products. Maybe just a little bit then? What can survive 220 degrees, anyway? Right? Never mind, let’s just go to the store! Just take a deep breath, you got this. Looking at her cut out tiny stars, I wonder when something simple like baking cookies became an act of bravery. John Green describes the ever tightening spiral of anxiety beautifully in his novel Turtles All the Way Down. It made me laugh so much, because it is so freeing to hear someone else describe exactly what that feels like. Luckily some days are better than others. Going to the beach – bare feet in the sea, feeling the sand between my toes helps. There’s wisdom in this old recipe for children who are overwhelmed: just add water.